It's been far too long since I have posted any irrational fears. Please accept my sincere apologies and my promise to pay more attention to this lonely little blog.
Over the past several months I've received a lot of great irrational fears from people and am excited to get cracking on them! In fact, I'm working on one right now...so you'd best keep a wary eye out for a new fear; it's coming soon.
Everyone have their imagination caps on? Good. Now, just imagine...imagine...imagine...
You're walking along the streets of a booming metropolis -- perhaps it's New York City or San Francisco or Chicago, take your pick (personally, I choose New York). It's a lovely spring afternoon and you haven't a care in the world. As you stroll down the sidewalk you bump shoulders with all sorts of interesting folk, walk past a never-ending eclectic string of buildings and hear the ever-waking sounds of large buses passing by, hundreds of feet hitting the cement and random segments of countless conversations.
Eventually your tummy rumbles and you step inside a small deli for a sandwich, or perhaps
you purchase some falafel from a nearby food-cart (I choose a caprese on ciabatta). As you continue on your way enjoying your rather delectable lunch, your hands begin to sweat. Simultaneously your heart-rate begins to climb and your legs become week and your lunch has lost its savor. Despite your rather odd onset of anxiety, everyone around you seems to have escaped the panic you are now experiencing. You continue to walk down the street, trying to act as if nothing is bothering you....WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN A GIGANTIC BEAR WEARING HIPSTER CLOTHES JUMPS OUT OF THE ALLEYWAY AND ATTACKS YOU stealing your lunch and even possibly taking a bite of you!!! *gasp!*
And that my friends, is what those who suffer from an irrational fear of urban bears go through every single time they walk through a metropolitan area (except for the whole bear attacking and stealing their lunch and taking a bite of them part).
The real question is, what do these bears do when they're not attacking innocent city-dwellers? Answer: they listen to their iPods while taking advantage of the excellent mass transit system. So keep a wary eye; you never know when they'll go all urban bear on you...
Who doesn't love baked, frozen or candied forms of sugar? I, for one, definitely welcome a variety of delicious sugary morsels into my life (and mouth) at a pleasant rate. Of course too much of a good thing could potentially become, well, too much. But where do we draw the line? How do we know when sugar has gone too far?
Well, a good example of sugar breaching the whole moderation boundary would be, say, if you were drowning in a sugary, sticky abyss of honey. Unlike eating a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie, I would venture to say that drowning in honey would not be a pleasant experience; not pleasant at all.
Personally, I'll stick with a couple of chocolate chip cookies and call it good.
I'm sure that at least 78% of the world's population would state that mounted animal heads are slightly creepy. Given that statistic, I'm almost positive that at least 99% of the world' population would agree that a live shark coming out of the wall is more than slightly creepy; I certainly think it is.
Some friends and I were talking one day about irrational fears, meaning those fears that are ridiculously illogical and that really shouldn't be fears at all. They ranged from "urban bears" that attack in densely populated metropolitan areas, to "flying mustaches" that are actually bats, to eyeball-sucking vacuums. The more we talked, the more our sides hurt from laughing, and the more I wanted to bring these rather hilarious irrational fears to life. And that, my friends, is when the idea for this blog was born.
Each week I'll be posting a new illustration depicting an irrational fear. In order to create these images I need ideas, which is where you come in. Send me your irrational fears at firstname.lastname@example.org. If yours is chosen then not only will it be posted online, but you'll also receive a free print. So tell me, what silly things twist your stomach into fearful knots?