Thursday, March 31, 2011

Urban Bears

Everyone have their imagination caps on? Good. Now, just imagine...imagine...imagine...

You're walking along the streets of a booming metropolis -- perhaps it's New York City or San Francisco or Chicago, take your pick (personally, I choose New York). It's a lovely spring afternoon and you haven't a care in the world. As you stroll down the sidewalk you bump shoulders with all sorts of interesting folk, walk past a never-ending eclectic string of buildings and hear the ever-waking sounds of large buses passing by, hundreds of feet hitting the cement and random segments of countless conversations. 

Eventually your tummy rumbles and you step inside a small deli for a sandwich, or perhaps 
you purchase some falafel from a nearby food-cart (I choose a caprese on ciabatta). As you continue on your way enjoying your rather delectable lunch, your hands begin to sweat. Simultaneously your heart-rate begins to climb and your legs become week and your  lunch has lost its savor. Despite your rather odd onset of anxiety, everyone around you seems to have escaped the panic you are now experiencing. You continue to walk down the street, trying to act as if nothing is bothering you....WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN A GIGANTIC BEAR WEARING HIPSTER CLOTHES JUMPS OUT OF THE ALLEYWAY AND ATTACKS YOU stealing your lunch and even possibly taking a bite of you!!! *gasp!*

And that my friends, is what those who suffer from an irrational fear of urban bears go through every single time they walk through a metropolitan area (except for the whole bear attacking and stealing their lunch and taking a bite of them part). 

The real question is, what do these bears do when they're not attacking innocent city-dwellers? Answer: they listen to their iPods while taking advantage of the excellent mass transit system. So keep a wary eye; you never know when they'll go all urban bear on you...

Irrational Fear Provided by Collin Cummings, Provo, UT

Friday, March 11, 2011

Drowning in Honey

Who doesn't love baked, frozen or candied forms of sugar? I, for one, definitely welcome a variety of delicious sugary morsels into my life (and mouth) at a pleasant rate. Of course too much of a good thing could potentially become, well, too much. But where do we draw the line? How do we know when sugar has gone too far? 

Well, a good example of sugar breaching the whole moderation boundary would be, say, if you were drowning in a sugary, sticky abyss of honey. Unlike eating a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie, I would venture to say that drowning in honey would not be a pleasant experience; not pleasant at all.

Personally, I'll stick with a couple of chocolate chip cookies and call it good.

Irrational Fear Provided by Caitlin Connolly, Salt Lake City, UT